Updated: Sep 1, 2019
I've always known, I wanted to work for myself. I wasn't sure what field I wanted to enter into but I was always clear. Self employment is the direction for me. The balance I struggle with everyday is, the balance between work like and family life. It's something I've always found hard, even when I was an employee. I constantly had mummy guilt, though at the times. I worked part-time, so I could be available as much as possible. It's inevitable somethings are going to be missed, no matter how much you plan. 4 years ago I was burning the candle from both ends. Working 20+ hours with two small children and a clothing business, I was trying to get off the ground.
I was convinced, I can and will do it all. Especially because I'd convinced myself, I had to catch up on life. I didn't go to University when all my friends did. I chose to have my first son and join the workforce, so I could provide for him. My main priority since becoming a mum, was being a full on, hands on mum.
Looking back, living like that was unsustainable. Which makes sense why, it lead me to having a mental breakdown. One day I woke up and realised, I needed to walk away from everything I was doing. I was Depressed, anxious, anti-social and short tempered, not to mention I was unable to retain information.
My brain felt like it had turned to mush. So after careful thought and a lot of back and forth. I chose to stop everything I was doing, for the sake of my mental and physical health. Of course being a mum could never stop, being a mum was actually my saving grace. Im sure, if it wasn't for the fact I needed to pull it together each day for my children. To do school runs, packed lunches, homework etc I don't know where Id be.
During my time off, I studied for a diploma in Business Studies, had my third child, studied business administration and started ALJ LDN. I never saw my life going in the direction it is now but I'm defiantly proud of where I am. Turning 30 recently has also help me find peace and tranquillity in where I stand today.