I have three boys, who by the end of the year will be 12, 10 and 3. Of course, in no way did I expect to be a single mother. In fact until the beginning of 2019. I wasn’t, but things change and people move on. Being solely responsible for every decision made in my home. Has definitely given me a new found appreciation for the children I’ve been blessed with.
Though I’ve pretty much had final say, the option for the children of having mum or dad had always been there. Not matter what it was conversations and checkins with the kids, we’re split between us both. Now, they only really come to me (yep, little man included). This has given me a better understanding of my children as individuals and how best I can mother their individuality.
Rather than a general rule for all, that inevitably leads to bigger issues. Don’t get me wrong, I’m currently handling issues as a result of general parenting. So I know how hard it can be, especially when you have multiple children. You get into the way of thinking “ aww well baby 1 & 2 we’re fine, we’ll do the same for 3.” And if I’m totally honest, it didn’t really dawn on me until Khariem was starting to become “my little MAN”. I realised, I can’t generalise. I have to pretty much be three different mums for my three boys.
Each child deserves to be loved and nurtured as uniquely as they are. Of course naturally if I have additional children, id need to create another extension of myself for that child (which is why, I’ll be having no more!). I know what I’m saying sounds exhausting and a lot of the times it is. It’s also something that’s necessary for the mental wellbeing of my children.
Think about how it must feel, to grow up feeling like your one of..........Im not saying, I go totally crazy ( well, not always) to make them feel special. Its really down to the small things.
How they each deal with being in trouble for instance;
Kyle : will avoid being in trouble like the plague, when he does. He pretty my crumbles after a few words. Not even a raised voice is necessary.
Kyron : does not care! I mean it. He knows exactly what’s expected but will do what he wants and face the consequences after.
Khariem : is very apologetic and needs lots of hugs, though he’s in trouble.
To say, when my children do something wrong I simply give a time out. Would not work on these three. Depending on the severity of the situation, everyone gets punished in a different way.
That goes to all aspects of my parenting and my gosh it’s hard work but who said raising respectable human beings would be easy. This is definitely why my social life is at a minimum and I’m 100% happy to sacrifice, my social life for raising my KINGS!